My Palace

If you’ve played Persona 5, you will understand this blog much more, but I’ll do my best to explain.

In this game, those with strong distorted desires have mental “palaces” that you would enter to change their true hearts. These palaces symbolize the way they see the world and their desires became distorted to the point where they potentially become harmful to themselves or others.

With that being said, I asked myself, “What would be my palace? What would be my distorted desire?”

Current and past situations in my life have told me this: As much as I desire to, I can’t be the hero in everyone’s life. Sometimes my drive to be great drives others crazy. I want my loved ones to be great too, but sometimes I go too far and end up hurting them instead.

Maybe I’m too pushing? Maybe I don’t know how to slow down or give space? Maybe I don’t know how to behave when I feel like someone doesn’t want to be saved?

So with that being said, this is what I imagine my Palace, my world of distorted desire, to be.

Imagine a super hero base. Something like the Justice League Satellite or the Super Friends Hall of Justice. I am the main Superhero controlling this base. Within it are civilians in different scenario rooms waiting to be saved. I make it a habit to “save” them from a danger that either I created or was not a problem I was asked to fix.

If the civilian refuses to be saved, then they are taken from the scenario rooms and into jail cells, forced to receive mixed messages from me about the meaning of justice and helping others.

Basically, my desire is to help others, but it became distorted when I started pushing the same critical weight I put on myself, on others.

So to the Phantom Thieves, I couldn’t find your phan-site, but I’m reaching out to have my heart changed, from the fear of having my distorted desires cause the end of many friendships and relationships. I can’t be everyone’s hero.

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